The End is Near, but The Beginning is Closer

yooooo whats up, FREAKING HELL im sick :( think i caught the cold maybe due to the fact, that it was fully fogging this morning or that i shave my hair hahaha. Yea I shaved my hair off, i still dont know precisely why i did it though, i just felt like i needed to do it. you know how like you gotta lose something in order to grain something better, well i felt like i needed to lose my a part of my old self in order to become a different person, hopefully for the better. idks what i will gain from this, maybe i wouldnt know in a month time or in a year time, but i feel like one day, i will look back and this is what changed me. it changed my physically though, some of my friends dont even recognise me and were like OMG ITS MARTIN while others think i have turned into a monk ==. my friend jun wouldnt stop touching my hair and its very ...... idks how to describe it LOL. but ohh wells, it will grow back soon and she would no longer be touching it :). i think i might just grow it super long after this, experience both ends of the spectrum and see whats it like LOL. Anyways, i dont know what to do with my problems at the moment, the feelings aint as intense as before but i dont know if i should jump into the river or not, take the leap off the cliff or not. what if i drown or fall to my own death. but what if i could  explore the oceans or soared through the clouds. ahhh the risk, i guess thats what makes life worth living for. are you willing to take the chance, are you willing to have the balls. i think everybody has the ability to control the outcome of any problem, but its just in their nature to fear failure, because we are conditioned by our society that failure is a burden, because we only acknowledge those who succeed but never those who fail but keeps on trying :/. but thats outside my control, i can only control the outcomes to my problems and not yours, or his or hers. anyways going to sleep now, got my algebra matrix quiz tomorrow, hopefully i will get a relatively high mark on this quiz. then go work the after uni, havent even prep, idks what to teach tomorrow... not that i ever prep anyways hahaha. 

Mr.Gee