Maybe im going insane or .... its all going to plan

I dont know, maybe i am going insane but, i was at homebush an hour early for teaching, so i was sitting on the bench and i notice my shadow and i was staring at it for quite a long time .... and it didnt feel like im looking at myself.... i feel like someone else is looking at me, almost any alien is looking at me. It was really weird, it actually felt like someone else was staring at me, i could almost picture eyes among my shadow just fixed upon me ..... I just been feeling hollow lately, like i only have control of outer shell of my body. While, inside everything was empty, like the universe but i didnt feel alone though i just felt like i had nothing to contribute, nothing to say, nothing to inspire. maybe im just going insane... but then something got me thinking while i was in the shower last night, while washing my hair, OMG i still think i have my old hairstyle, so every time i touch my head, its a real surprise, or every time i look in the mirror. anyways, so i was washing my hair, and i thought of why i shaved (refer to post entitled 'the end is near but the beginning is closer'), then i have an epiphany, that maybe what i was feeling was due to the fact that im losing my former self, maybe that person staring back at me was the old me, and now im somehow different. (the only way to explain this wouldnt making me sound crazy is like you looking back at who you were 3 years ago, except in my case its an instantaneous reflection.) I dont know what has changed within me, but that is still to be uncovered, still to be discovered. 

Anyways, im doing fine now, i feel like i was restored during the train ride home with william, brenda and belinda the other night, sort of felt like myself again. havent felt like that in ages. AND THATS why i dont go home alone. Anyways, semester 1 of uni is almost done, meaning exams are coming up soon. might not blog as much during exam time. Although, im not even feeling the stress of the exams and its in like 2 weeks time .... LOL. Anyways, the other part of my life is going downhill and going downhill in a -x^3 fashion, ( and if you are a maths nerd like i am) then you will know that there doesnt seem like there would be any turning back :(. idk my friend lyanna said to just take it one day at time, hopefully that works although, normally any advice i take usually turns out against me. hopefully things turn around after the exams. NO i can not rely on hope, i am a man who has total control of the outcomes. I WILL TURN THIS AROUND, I MUST TURN THIS AROUND. 

Mr.Gee