One Hour

i dont even know how to start .... or where to start .... well at the moment im just enjoying my home-made mocha, i dont know why im even drinking this LOL im going to bed soon. I feel like something is missing... but i dont feel empty. I just feel like something is just not right, idks if its my physical bodying affecting my mental state as i have quite a few injuries on my belt atm that i need to get checked, or that i lacked the physical - demands that my body used to sustain in high school like playing footy or ball at lunch time and going to the gym, GOSH i miss those footy game during lunch, it really takes your mind off things, where as in uni, even during your break you are sitting on your arse and your mind tends to wonder around. Or maybe its my mental state thats screwing me off....trying to grab hold of something that is slipping away slowly, or maybe that lack of community and real friendship that we had during high school. Actually, i havent had a real face to face in depth conversation with anybody in a long long time, everything now days are such small talk that i dont even bother sometimes, GOSH YOU ARE FUCKEN TEARING ME APART :( :(. ahh sigh not even sleep can fix this problem, nor can music nor any quiet alone time ..... i need something else, something better, something more efficient. fuck i sound like a fucken girl, complaining like a little wuss, i should just fucken shut up and man the fuck up. FUCK YOU!!!!!! 

Mr.Gee